A little backstory before I begin: Scott, my husband, is in graduate school so December is finals time. We have two crazy dogs (Penny Lynn & Carli Belle) that love to run away from me aka I like to think they’ll stay in the backyard when I let them out but they never do. A few days before our story begins I was running after them and noticed I began to leak. “My water just broke”, was of course my first thought. But after visiting with our OB and noticing that it wasn’t much liquid coming out, I came to the understanding that the leak was merely me peeing myself (my first TMI of this post but pregnancy will do that to a girl). This became known as me inking (ala Finding Nemo, “agh guys, you made me ink!”) Any who, as you can imagine it’s not the best feeling in the world but it was my only sign that the baby might be coming soon. At 38.5 weeks and starting to feel pretty big, the OB insisted I was nowhere near delivering the baby since there were no signs he was coming out. (dilation, effacement, dropping: all those things you look for when you’re this far along)
Monday, December 1, 2014 1:30pm
So once again I find myself running after our dogs, when I return to the house with them in tow, I begin to ink. I run to the restroom only to find that I have lost my mucous plug. For those of you that don’t know this is one of those weird pregnancy things no one really talks about but you learn about when you are going through it. I call my OB and tell them I think it’s time and that this baby is on his way and they respond by telling me it could be days before he comes and this is only one early sign of labor. They tell me to wait until I have 6 contractions in an hour before worrying about coming to the hospital.
Contractions begin…not fun! Pull out my app and start timing. OUCH
After 6 contractions, I ask my mom to take me to the hospital. We call Scott and let him know to meet us there. Labor is happening!
All checked into the hospital and strapped to a monitor waiting for the nurse to check me. [every 3-4 minutes or so you can hear me scream, “this sucks!!!!] EXAM #1: 0cm dilated and monitor registering nothing. At this point, Scott has arrived and is super excited thinking our baby boy is on his way. NOPE. The nurse tells him what she has already told us, I am not in labor and the contractions I am feeling are not labor contractions (well damn, they sure feel like labor contractions). She tells all of us that she is going to call the doctor while they monitor my progress but it doesn’t seem like they are going to keep me because I’m not having the baby.
EXAM #2: 0cm dilated and monitor registering nothing. But this time I tell the nurse that I have got to get up and poop. At this point I feel the biggest pressure down there and need to get up. The next “contraction” I pull off the monitor strap and get up to the restroom. NOTHING! “THIS SUCKS!!!” If this isn’t labor, real labor is going to be awful and I’m going to use all the drugs I can get. Mind you, I was one of those women that swore I wasn’t going to use drugs to have a baby. I wanted to experience child birth and knew that I could handle the pain. YEA RIGHT!
EXAM #3: 0cm dilated and monitor STILL registering nothing. Nurse tells us that she has talked to the doctor and they don’t think I’m in labor or going to have the baby any time soon. So they are sending me home with a pain shot and instructions to relax and call the OB office in the morning. I ask about the pooping situation and she says that we can get an enema if needed but since there is NO chance of baby coming, pushing is fine and I should try to go naturally. BYE.
Walk drowsily to the car. Don’t remember the drive home. Get in bed, fall sound asleep.
December 2, 12:45am
OUCH OUCH OUCH
Can’t sleep! Must poop! I get up to use the restroom and get no relief. Back and forth from bed to restroom, “contractions”, pain, annoyance, dogs freaking out, Scott annoyed and wants to sleep. One of the times as I’m walking back to bed, I ink. GREAT! Now I’m peeing myself again. I decide I’m going to stay in bed and deal with it. No more complaining. These aren’t real labor pains and I need to suck it up. Women have gone through worse and I’m going to go through worse so SUCK IT UP.
Scott can’t take anymore. He gets out of bed and tells me he’s going to Walgreens to get an enema so we can both sleep. I tell him I’m going to sit on the toilet until he gets back.
[sitting on the toilet] “MOMMMMMMMMM!!!” Mom comes running into the bathroom.
“Mom, I feel his head!”
“Mija, no you don’t. You just need to poop.”
“No Mom, this isn’t poop [holding my hand out from the toilet clearly not covered in poop]”
1:57am – 911 call begins
Mom moves me to the bed while 911 operator (Michelle I think) asks a whole bunch of questions that don’t seem to be pertinent as I scream in the background. Michelle walks my mom through delivering the baby. She says that with each contraction I’ll need to push. I scream at my mom to stop pushing the baby back inside (little do I know that’s my body pulling him back inside) Oh the joy!
Scott returns from Walgreens while I’m lying on the bed, legs up in the air, baby boy half way out. (another back story, Scott had mentioned to the OB that he didn’t want to see anything down there. He wanted a curtain put up if possible…oops!) He whispers in my ear “I love you Baby, you are doing a great job. I’m so proud of you!”
While waiting outside for the ambulance to arrive, Scott calls my brother to tell him that I’m having the baby in a phone call that I’m sure went a little like this “Dude, I’m freaking out. Your sister is having the baby right now! At home! On my bed! Your mom is delivering the baby! I’m freaking out!” Runs back inside.
Baby boy arrives. Healthy, pink…not crying! What?!?
At this point, I get nervous. Why is baby not crying! Mom assures me he is fine, pink, healthy, adorable. 911 asks the same thing, “Are baby & mom ok?” Mom, responds “yes they are both fine”
EMS arrives. Clamps umbilical cord. Baby boy CRIES!!! Best sound I’ve ever heard.